Penguin on a beach

Friday, 2 October 2015

It's in the wide shoulders

Whilst stretching my legs on the previous flight, the crew member asked me where I was headed.

London I said.

She asked if it was for the rugby.

I said yes!

She then made a statement more then a question "Ahhh you're a rugby player! Lovely!"

Well actually darling I'm not, but since you seem pleased as punch with your deduction skills, I'll just smile and wave, smile and wave boys.

Gawd damn these wide island shoulders and my hefty build haha obviously I told her I was winger...I don't do hooking lol 

Monday, 1 June 2015

Open Book

Property Manager:  Is the light in the guest bedroom still giving you problems?

Betty: Not that I know of, we hardly use the guest bedrooms.

Property Manager:  Yes of course you wouldn't. 

Betty:  Hmm and we haven't had any guests recently either who would've told us

Property Manager:  *chuckles* Thats very unlike you Netia.  Theres normally lots of traffic here!

One visit of 5 minutes tops every 3 months for the last year and she managed to piece that together.  Something tells me our property manager knows a lot more about us then I give her credit for.

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Princess Antics

Have you ever had a family gathering and there's that one person who doesn't pull their weight?  The princess who sits on the window seat and watches whilst the rest of the family gets on with cleaning up?

We have a rule in our house, if you cook you don't clean up after.  Personally it's hard for me to let others wash up and clean because the clean freak tendencies of mine take root and I spend days after trying not to give into the temptation of rewashing all the crockery and cutlery as I'm not 100% sure they have been washed throughly!  I must say though in my defence that I've made great strides in curtailing these temptations, even if I do say so moyself ;). I now know that not everyone has the ability to wash dishes in scalding hot water, the desire to rinse dishes throughly in hot water before washing in dish washing liquid to limit food scraps coating the next dish being washed.  Nor do they have the desire to clean up the sink and the surrounding area so you're washing up in a clear space.  

Anyway, I digress.

Last night we had a potluck dinner for my cousins birthday at our place because her siblings had failed to organise anything for her, nada, zilch, zero.  Let's call them wank*rs for now.

Our viber group chat starts off with me proposing a potluck dinner and because birthday girl wants it at ours, I give in to the venue request despite the previous weeks promise to penguin boy of finally having a weekend free of anything remotely social, chore like or obligatory attendance (I make further promises to PB of 'you won't have to lift a finger and can get your nerd on all day until it's time to eat and for the rest of the weekend' which was met with scepticism, an eye roll and a sarcastic 'uh huh') 

We get to the end of the evening, dinners been gobbled up, the birthday song has been butchered and we've all had our fill of Banoffee pie.  Whilst everyone including penguin boy is clearing the table, washing dishes or drying, my cousins girlfriend sits by the window watching us.  There's no effort to do anything other then sit like a royal princess, complaining about how full she is.  She doesn't bat an eyelid when two of the girls order me away from the kitchen because I've done the cooking and hosting.  Neither does she blink when they tell the birthday girl to get lost as she's not to do anything on her birthday.  Despite the fact that she lived with us for 6 months, when one of the girls asks her where some of the dishes went, she didn't know and in her defence she didn't have reason to know, I can count on one hand how many times in 6 months she washed up lol.

Almost an hour later and close to finishing the clean up, she suddenly speaks quietly to her boyfriend (my cousin).  He immediately gets up and I assume he's going to ask whether there's anything he can do to help but instead asks if they can take a slice and Banoffee pie home hahaha.  Oh the willpower not to say piss off was in overdrive ;) As she's sitting pretty I explain that the Banoffee pie was a special request by the birthday girl as she's not a cake person and she pipes up with "does that mean I can request a sticky toffee pudding for my birthday?"  Naughtily in my head I'm thinking, you can request it all you like but something tells me I'm going to be super busy in August heh heh ;)

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Yoga buds

Those looks of disdain when you walk into Yoga in old ratty sweats and a 10 year old T shirt.

And that look you give them back...

"What? its Yoga, not a freaking ball...and darling, you might want to go easy on the eye shadow next time, it'll get into your eyes when you sweat" 

lol oh if only I cared...I've got bigger things to worry about, like how to to do the warrior, looking poised and strong rather then looking like that elephant standing on a board balanced on a tennis ball.  You get the visual right?  Anegelina Ballerina I am not ;) 

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Flights and New BFFs

I'm blogging a few 100 miles from Melbourne in darkness as its a night flight bound for Dubai.  Just realised I had 10mb of free internet and why not use it aye?  I have 14 hours of flight time to Dubai transitting to a connecting flight to London.  Let me tell you about my flight so far.

I don't know about you guys but do you tend to make friends with your passenger neighbour?  Or maybe not make friends but inadvertently start a 2 casual minute conversation which lasts for the rest of the four hour flight?  The most worrying thing is that we have two more flights together so another 21 hours đŸ˜łđŸ˜±

I can tell you her kids names, their kids names and the spouses and partners. A (that's her name) and second husband S have 4 grown children between them from previous marriages.  One daughter lives in NZ and has just started a probiotic business with her husband which they intended for cows but now using horses and the business has just Miami America.  Son in law A has flown a few times already in the last 6 months to Miami for business but he has been having problems with his mum who is very clingy and facetimes her son twice a day.  Not month, not week but day much to her daughter in laws dismay and annoyance.  The daughter by the way somehow has the same FaceTime name as her husband so when MIL (mother in law) calls she sees it too.  The son on the husbands side lived with them for 7 months estranged from his wife who also has issues with her mother.  I'm happy to report though that everything's been patched up and they are back to being a normal family except that Mother in law often invites herself daily to 'hang out' with the family which intrudes on the family time.

Oooh and some scandal - she, her current husband and his ex wife all taught at the same school and the headteacher asked her and current husband to leave for fear of the ex wife kicking up a fuss...and don't get me started on the grandchildren lol 

And like I said that was just the first 4 hours and only about 1/4 of what she's told me.  I need to sign off now and pretend to sleep, she's just woken to go to the loo.  I don't mind listening as she seems to enjoy talking to me but I don't know about 21 more hours of it.  Or I could just start on the wine and settle in for the inevitable haha Why does this always happen to me!  Excuse the spelling etc, typing fast before my data runs out lol. 

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Huffing and puffing

Isn't it weird how we just gain weight from looking at food?  It's like a symbiotic relationship - it just absorbs itself to the butt and stomach.  What kind of dark magic is this? 

Be gone dark magic BE GONE!

And just like that my stomach abs appeared, my cheek bones revealed themselves and that curvey little number fit just right on the derriĂšre.

Oh I wish I wish I wish.

I started excising again.  And believe it or not weight loss wasn't the motivator!  Who would've thunk it?  Definitely not me that's for sure.  Since the dawn of my time here on God's green earth I've only exercised in an attempt at exorcising my fat demons.  I've dreamt of wanting to want and enjoy exercise but like many dreams of mine this one has been eluding me for some time...can't quite put my finger on it...

So I'm reacquainting myself with some old friends to keep me out of trouble on my slow days at the office.  Its funny, I must have turned 35 and hit my head hard on something (perhaps my conscience?)  because suddenly I'm all about having a healthy heart.  What now? Healthy?  Yes indeed friends,  apparently being a slob isn't half as fabulous as the label on the tin makes it out to be - and after my 35 years of exhaustive research I think I can safely say, I'm an expert on this ;)

Monday, 23 February 2015

Hoping against the odds

Another family member has Cancer, this time it's of the bile duct area - the doctors say it's one of the worst and rarest types in the UK with only around 1,000 people diagnosed a year.  We just battled breast cancer with mum and now this within 2 years.  Cancer you're an arrogant swine.

All I can think of are my nephew and niece who are only 14, not ready, not equipped, not yet 15...not yet.  Not Yet! It's not time.  

He's been in hospital for two weeks, everything in his body seems to be failing this week and the kicker?  He just had the diagnosis confirmed four short months ago.  Today he's had a tracheotomy after being on a ventilator for three days.  His kidney and liver aren't responding to treatment and the Doctors don't know if it's the Cancer or just a low immune system from the chemo that's causing the problems.  The doctors aren't hopeful and have mentioned that his brain function will be compromised coming off the ventilator.  They make it sound and seem so hopeless. If the odds are stacked against him, then the only way is up right?  So I'm going to hope, pray and keep my blind Faith because I'm not done yet.  I'm not done hoping and praying, not when my nephew and niece sound so hopeless and lost.  

Hope, Pray and keep the Faith. Repeat.